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Christa: It seems to be through organized group events like ‘gokon’.

Chiara: I know some married couples and the first meeting is usually through friends or at university. Rebecca: I think quite a common thing among foreign girls who are in relationships with Japanese guys is that generally the guy has lived abroad or has some sort of not-typical Japanese perspective that makes him attracted to foreign girls.

In the name of research, Gaijin Pot got together three different women (UK, USA and Italy) to share their experiences of dating in Japan. Chiara: I thought that they didn’t find me attractive so I wasn’t really interested in Japanese guys, even though I was attracted to them.

Rebecca: I wasn’t so attracted to Japanese men but now after living here for three years I would say I definitely am. Christa: I’ve always been attracted to Japanese men, even when I was young, so I did some research before I came here and I saw that generally they are interested but they’re very shy about approaching women so you may need to approach them.

But you don’t know if they’re interested in you as a person or because of your foreignness.

Christa: I actually approached someone on the train recently and he was totally ok with it but yeah it was kind of up to me to make a move.

Rebecca: Yeah, it seems like back home dating is really much more frequent.