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To be clear: I’m not saying the people in this church aren’t aware that Scott and Andrea’s kid turned into, you know, —it’s hilarious to watch the flower girls try to keep it together, and the nuns seem pretty jazzed, too—but that’s not the story today. And the only evidence that the maid of honor is you-know-who is the paparazzi who have gathered at the bottom of the hill, hoping to snag a photo with their long lenses. A treasured footnote to the Taylor Swift backstory is that she spent much of her childhood being raised at, of all places, a Christmas-tree nursery called Pine Ridge Farm. “So I’ve been a big disappointment.” “I’ve gotten over the bitterness, finally,” Andrea says sarcastically.

YES: I SHOULD NOTE that when we arrived at the farm, we were informed by a couple of Swift’s security people that there were at least a trio of uninvited photographers who had followed us to the location to catch some hot, sexy farm-visit action. (“Her not being creative is one of the last things I’d ever worry about,” the musician and producer Jack Antonoff tells me later.) “I’m always going to be writing songs,” Swift says.

“The thing is, with me, I could very well come up with three things in the next two weeks and then jump back into the studio, and all of a sudden the next record is started.

That’s an option, too.” But probably not for the moment.

“I would really like to take a little time to learn things,” Swift says.

Scott, a stockbroker, actually purchased and lived on the property before he’d met Andrea; on their first date, she came to a party he hosted in the farmhouse. “I always thought you might want to stop by,” she says. As we step into the cozy two-floor home, Taylor takes out her phone and starts filming. She actually owns the house with her husband and lives nearby. We go upstairs into a small corner room where a tiny Taylor used to demand three books and five songs every night. We wish you were here so bad.” I can’t lie: All I can think of is Siena and Tarah returning from their ski trip to learn that Taylor Swift was hanging out at their grandparents’ house, and deciding right then they will never go skiing ever again. “This is the first time in ten years that I haven’t known. I decided I was going to live my life a little bit without the pressure on myself to create something.” Do not freak: Swift is not abandoning making music.

“But I never wanted to bother you.” The Schaeffers confess they lived here for a while before they learned about the famous former resident. There’s the living room where the Swifts put their family Christmas tree. She’s thrilled but also beside herself that her two daughters are away skiing for the day. Taylor gathers the family together to make a quick video for the Schaeffers’ granddaughters, Siena and Tarah. On the ride back, Andrea and Taylor sound almost overcome by what has just happened—by the sweet and polite and utterly un–freaked out mood of the whole experience. And then she turns her head quickly away from the window: paparazzi. I just decided that after the past year, with all of the unbelievable things that happened . Those who know her know this is chemically impossible.

During a car ride earlier in the day, she excitedly pointed out landmarks: the creek where she and Britany used to play as kids; a weathered tree house in the front yard of the former Maack family home; the piney woods she and her friends used to think were haunted.